Dam Would Break
by Kementari
Summary: Not my best, but my friend made me post it. Trowa musings mainly I guess.


**Dam Would Break**

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_Is it this place that makes me fall from you?_   
The five pilots were relaxing in the living room. Duo was talking quickly, and occasionally Quatre would laugh.   
Trowa frowned and stared distantly at the door. He wasn't going to say anything, but the warm atmosphere made him feel vaguely   
uncomfortable and out of place. Quietly, he stood up from his chair and walked outside.

_Forget the words that once rang so true_   
Love, even friendship were still alien to him. Yes, he was slowly beginning to trust the others but he still hid more than they   
realized.

_Did we expect that life was ever fair, my god..._   
I sowed a field of rose and reaped a whipping rod.   
Heero had his missions. Quatre had his name and his sisters, Duo had his personality, and Wu Fei had his justice. Trowa didn't   
have anything.. not even a name.   
Perhaps that was why he was standing outside in the middle of the night, wandering aimlessly in the comforting darkness.

_And everything I've held too tight inside_   
_Could make a part of me die_   
What he'd told Dorothy Catalonia on Libra was true, he'd had up barriers around his emotions so long he didn't even know if they   
still existed. Not that it bothered him, the boy he'd once been was gone forever, and it was easier to deal with what was left that   
way.

_And if my lips could only speak the name_   
_The dam would break_   
'You're not him anymore..' some inner voice said. 'You can start over..'   
No. He was Nanashi, he'd always be Nanashi.. nothing could change that.

_What is this ice that gathers round my heart_   
_To stop the flood of warmth before it even starts_   
"Trowa?"   
He turned and saw Quatre staring at him. Trowa pulled himself deeper into his jacket and felt his mental barriers take over. The   
feeling of relief and sudden companionship was buried by nothingness.   
"You shouldn't be out so late.. you have a big meeting tomorrow.."   
"What's wrong?"

_It would make me blind to what i thought would always be_   
_The only constant in the world for me_   
"Nothing." he turned away. "Everything's fine.."   
Friendship was just a word. The only true things he knew were death and pain. Nothing else had ever existed to him.   
He'd rather keep it that way.

_And every hours of every day_   
_I need to fight from pulling away_   
"Trowa, wait up.."   
Don't listen to him.. just ignore him, ignore how he somehow always gets you to open up and act human.. ignore how his annoyingly   
kind disposition was slowly winning over and stirring up a kinmanship he'd never felt..   
Ignore how Duo's comical gestures were very slowly making him laugh, and Heero's trust, and Wu Fei's sense of integrity..   
Just ignore it all..

_And if my mind could only lose the chain_   
_The dam would break_   
He stopped dead in his tracks as he felt two arms wrap around him. Quatre had somehow caught up with him, turned him around,   
and embraced him with his tight grip.   
For a moment he felt a deep surge of irritation, but it very slowly began to turn into a soft relaxed feeling..   
"Everyone needs a little reassurance sometimes Trowa.. remember that.."

_For all the things I hid away_   
_And all the words i could not say_   
_The dam would break_   
And for a moment, he actually felt like he could go back there, laugh at Duo, trust Heero, and feel Wu Fei's proud sense of justice..   
He slowly wrapped an arm around the thin figure and squeezed back.

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Disclaimer, Notes, etc.: Once again I'll repeat myself, GW is not mine and this song is by you-know-who.   
I'll admit, this story isn't my best but *points to her friend* She made me post it. Speaking of which why not go read her story called   
Porcelain, it's good AND it's a BTE song. (Heh heh.. take that, I mentioned you)   
Finally, I did NOT write this to be yaoi. I'll admit that I believe Trowa and Quatre have something, but it doesn't seem romantic to me. However, reading over it it could be that way but don't count me as being biased in the debate.   
Also I don't think I'm going to add anything else on the Heero and Relena thing. You guys can write something to go with it if ya want, but I like it the way it is.

--I'm working on other stuff.. really.. this was just written at 10 at night, I've been typing a little bit on a fic challenge I took up and a   
cliched crossover for some humor.. we'll see how they go..


End file.
